Average Guy Therapy

2006-11-27T12:16:00.000-05:00

THEATER CONCESSIONS RUINED MY DATE!

My wife Tracie and I went to see "Stranger Than Fiction" Saturday night. Wow! What a great movie! I really like films that have a message to them, and this one has many great messages on many different levels. I walked out of the theater feeling so very grateful for Tracie. I wanted to put my arm around her, hold her hand, open the car door for her...you know. Great film! Despite my amorous mood following such a powerful film, the only words that I could say as we walked into the theater lobby were "I gotta pee." When I came out of the men's room, it was painfully obvious "the mood" was gone. So we went to K Mart. What a date!!

2006-11-17T07:13:00.000-05:00

I guess there's a pretty big college football game this weekend. As a fan of the pittifully hapless Michigan State Spartans, I couldn't be less interested in the U of M vs. Ohio State game. Ok, to be honest, I care a little - but that's only because I've endured years of Spartan shame...always second best. Spartan fans feel a little like Tommy Smothers of Smothers brothers fame whose familiar phrase pretty much sums up the Spartan neglect - "mom always liked you best!" She probably liked U of M best too. Maybe you've seen the reports that people on eBay are bidding up to $9000 to get their mits on the new Playstation 3. The new game systems retail for around $600, but the demand to be one of the first to play it is driving prices beyond the bounds of reason. $600! My wife would KILL me! In protest, I dug out my Playstation 1 yesterday and played NASCAR 98. If you're like me, you've had November 17, 2006 circled on your calendar for months in anticipation of the new James Bond film. I've been a huge Bond fan for years and own almost all of the films on VHS or DVD. Daniel Craig is bond actor # 6. Fourty some years ago Sean Connery introduced us to 007. What if Connery were still our beloved Bond? The idea does have its upsides - - like the sponsorship opportunities a geriatric James could provide. Imagine 007 endorsing an anti-itch cream - Bond, Gold Bond. Or possibly the denture adhesive - Bond, Sea Bond.

2006-11-16T06:16:00.000-05:00

Lunch meeting jealousy,

An attitude of worship,

& Sleep smarts

My wife Tracie is jealous that I've had three lunch meetings this week - jealous because she stays at home with four kids all day and eats PB & J for lunch. Meanwhile, I'm at some waterfront restaurant yukking it up with friends and co-workers. Can you feel her pain? Yesterday I met with my pastor at Panera Bread in Grand Haven. I love their sandwiches! For a moment, I thought about bringing some Cinnamon Crunch bagels for Tracie and the kids, but didn't because I Tracie said we're a little tight on cash this month. Listen to the voice of experience - it is NOT the thought that counts! Next time BUY THE STINKIN' BAGELS! My pastor and I had a good talk about the worship team (for which I'm responsible). I don't actually lead the worship, but I'm the elder who oversees it. I also play guitar and provide background vocals. There was a time when I wanted to take full control of the team and lead worship. Having lead worship off and on since my youth group days, and having played guitar, drums, and keys at times, I believed I could do a better job and would have the committment to be there for all practices and services (something that's been a struggle in our small church). But the second my pastor said he wanted to sit down and talk about it, I realized what's most important in God's work is not your qualifications - it's your heart. My motives were prideful and controlling - why should I expect God to honor that? So, I'll stay in the background knowing that God is truly using the worship leader we have now. Have you ever gone to bed fully clothed (and sober) and woke up under the sheets buck naked with no idea where your pants are? Weird things happen while you're asleep. For two nights in a row I've awaken in the middle of the night sans clothing. I start kicking around under the sheets in a search for my pants...nothing. So I get up to use the bathroom and step onto this flannel lump on the carpet - MY PANTS! Then, I've got to get them on in the dark. I feel around the waist band, find the label that lets me know which side goes in back, and I slip them on. By now, I'm wide awake - and starting to sweat under the covers. Is is possible that I'm smarter while sleeping?

2006-11-14T06:45:00.000-05:00

No Excuses, No Regrets Okay, okay - I've been ignoring you! Turns out blogging isn't the most convenient practice one can engage in. When you're busy, it can be work enough just to get to bed at a decent hour - I'm not going to stay up another fifteen minutes just to write a paragraph in the blog. Heck, on my rickety home computer with dial up internet, there's no guarantee it would only take fifteen minutes. So I'm throwing you a bone. My goal will be to blog my devotions every weekday. I'm beginning a walk through the book of Philipians. An introductory entry will follow. Brian

2006-10-16T11:54:00.000-04:00

Do You Know Who You're Voting For?

His opponent says a vote for Dick DeVos would be like voting for someone you've already voted for in '00 and '04 (Pres. Bush). I say it looks more like a vote for someone I didn't vote for in '92!

2006-10-16T11:27:00.000-04:00

Do You Know Who You're Voting For?

After seeing this, you may want to rethink any plans to vote for incumbant Governor Jennifer Grandholm. Just don't let her near your pets!!

2006-10-16T11:14:00.000-04:00

Do You Know Who You're Voting For?

Senator Debbie Stabenow's opponent, Michael Bouchard has an altar ego too! I wonder if he has a dog named Hosehead?

2006-10-16T10:40:00.000-04:00

Do You Know Who You're Voting For?

Amidst all the mud-slinging ads and debates, you'll learn an aweful lot about what the candidates want you to know about their opponents. They'll try to tell you that the person they're running against isn't the person you think!

For instance - Incumbant Senator from Michigan, Debbie Stabenow....

Which is Witch?

Sen. Debbie Stabbenow's striking similarity to The Little Mermaid's Sea Witch Ursula

2006-10-09T13:51:00.000-04:00

Weekend? What Weekend?

When you haven't had the chance to rest or do something recreational over the weekend, it can be awfully difficult to find any motivation for getting out of bed on Monday morning.

If you're like me, Sundays can be a pain in the neck because you're working so much. (Admitedly, I sometimes envy people who have the option of not going to church once in a while). Here's my schedule for yesterday.

7:15 Leave for church (40 minutes away)

8:00 Praise band practice

9:00 Teach Sunday School

10:15 Sunday Service Starts/play guitar in worship band

10:45 Count offering

11:15 Clean up coffee bar

11:45 Back in service to play guitar during invitation

12:15 Choose songs for next Sunday

12:30 Luncheon with Pastor & outreach organizers

1:00 Clean up church kitchen

1:30-4:00 Free time at mom & dad's house

4:15 Leave Fruitport for a concert in Hudsonville

5:00 Arrive at concert / coordinate MC duties

5:30 On stage to introduce opening act

6:00 On stage to introduce headliner

6:10 Leave concert for Pastor's reception with board members in Grand Haven

9:00 Head home

9:30 Arrive at home and jump in bed.

Does that describe your Sundays? Leave a comment and let me know I'm not the only one who does this madness on the weekend!

2006-10-07T20:48:00.000-04:00

WHAT EVERY MAN WISHES HE COULD SAY

Yesterday my son Broderick said something most average guys would love to admit.

Before I share his proclamation with you, you need to know he's thinner than most kids his age and constantly has to pull up his pants. And it's been a while since we bought him new underwear.

So, while at his Nana's (maternal Grandmother) house for a sleepover, he proudly announced what most men only dream of saying: "Nana, I need smaller pants and bigger underpants."

Attaboy!

2006-10-03T05:53:00.000-04:00

Aggressive Drivers Negate Cars' Safety Features

A news story last week revealed that safety features like anti-lock breaks and airbags on newer cars aren't necessarily making drivers more safe behind the wheel. That's because now more than ever, more drivers demonstrate aggressive behavior while commuting.

Recently, I realized that I'm a very aggressive driver. Often I don't even realize I'm doing it until someone responds in anger.

And you know what? Sometimes I'm glad they're angry! I know, that's bad. But sometimes, I get so antsy that they're actually going 23 in a 25mph zone, I consider their anger a punishment for such overly cautious driving. It drives me nuts!

TOP 10 THINGS AGGRESSIVE DRIVERS ARE ANNOYED BY

10. 25 mph speed zones.

9. Railroad crossings gates that go down too early.

8. Slow traffic in the passing lane

7. When traveling down a road with several traffic lights, and they're not timed to change properly.

6. Mapquest directions that lead you to major construction zones.

5. Some people aren't in a hurry to get to point B.

4. Old people in sportscars.

3. Michigan turnarounds.

2. The letter of the law. (Rather than the spirit of it)

1. Non-aggressive drivers.

2006-09-18T10:48:00.000-04:00

A GAME YOU CAN PLAY AT HOME

NBC's hit game show Deal or No Deal makes its season premier tonight with a two-hour special. My kids are pretty excited.

They love the show so much that when they saw the two new home versions of the game at Toys R Us, they begged me to buy it. The game comes in a briefcase (meant to resemble the ones held by the show's models), and allows families and friends to come together in the show's name even when it's not on TV.

So as the kids begged me for the game I looked at their mother and said, "only if Mommy agrees to put on her little black dress and carry the briefcase." She said "OK," provided I shave my head and wear black suits like the show's host Howie Mandel.

Whoooah! Let's not get carried away here! But I will be honored to host the game downstairs. Then, I can ask my 7yr old daughter - "Deal or no deal? - and if you lose, you're going to bed!"

Sounds like a lot of fun, eh? Especially the bedtime part!

2006-09-12T12:20:00.000-04:00

Check Out That Hot Chick!

Confronting The Shallow Hal Inside

Every Monday, I look forward to receiving the new Entertainment Weekly magazine in the mail. When this week's edition came yesterday, my jaw about hit the floor! Uncovered on the cover was a provokatively posed Eva Longoria (of Desperate Housewives). Ai Carrumba!

Before I realized what was happening, I found myself staring at the picture - fishnet stockings and all. Then, something deep inside said "dude! Brian! put that magazine away!"

As I cut out a piece of white paper to cover Eva's lower half, I thought about why we call some people beautiful and have a less flattering description of others. Then it occurred to me, my perception is flawed! And so it is for many Average Guys (and ladies).

Let's synthesize what we know to be true:

God doesn't make junk. In fact, when he completed his creation of the earth, he called it "good."
God made humans in His image. Not to say God has a head, two arms, two legs, and ten fingers; but we do share many of God's attributes.
God is perfect; I am flawed. Because of sin, I don't always see people the way God does.
God dearly loves all people. As their creator, he aches for the love of every man and woman!
God sees the whole beauty of a person. The Bible says man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart. I'm not able to - with me, beauty is only skin deep.

Knowing all of the above to be true, I see I have dishonored God by dismissing some people based on appearance, and have devalued the true beauty of more attractive people by making them an object of selfish desire.

2006-09-11T16:31:00.000-04:00

Brew

with a shot of

Brains

For some time now, Starbucks has been printing thought provoking quotes on their paper cups. Dubbed "As I See It," these numbered proverbs, testimonies, and exhortations are surpisingly inspirational!

Recently, my pastor used "As I See It" no. 81 as a sermon illustration. Later, as I picked up some of the trash left behind from Sunday service, I re-read the quote he had shared. Seeing that it said "no. 81" on the side, I wondered what good things vollumes 1 through 80 had to say. By the time I logged onto Starbucks' web site to read them, the number of "As I See Its" surpassed 120!

Check it out for yourself! I bet you'll be just as surprised as I was at how many of these thoughtful phrases allign with Christian principles.

http://starbucks.com/thewayiseeit

I've always known how tasty Starbucks coffee it; now I'm glad that their stirring a few teaspoons of wisdom into the brew as well!

Brian

2006-09-07T06:23:00.000-04:00

Losing Your Fight:

Becomming the Kinder, Gentler Guy

When you were in your 20's, if you're like me, you were passionate about every little truth you believed and were willing to fight to the death in defense of it. You may have looked down on 40-something or 50-something guys who seemed more accepting and tolerant. I mean, how could someone legitimately tolerate some of the garbage people live out?

Back then, we lived in black and white worlds where truth was absolute and falsehood was public enemy number one. And the true measure of your friendship was how hard you'd fight to get your friends to face the truth.

Yesterday, I got into it with a good friend who I thought was avoiding a truth that was just too painful. Turns out I was right, but there was a terribly hurtful reason for it. Early in the discussion, I boldly stated my opinion over and over again only to discover there was a painful secret at the core of the issue.

When the secret came out, all my passionate fighting turned to sympathy and all I wanted to do was help. I regret some of what came out of my mouth, and know I can never un-say what was said.

The hard lesson I'm learning is that you may never know what good reasons people have for bad behaviour. You can't make excuses for a person's weakness. But you can take a more loving, less hurtful tone that actually helps!

2006-09-01T14:12:00.000-04:00

The Kind Of Father I Aspire To Be

A friend of mine sent me the link to a video he found on YouTube. Check it out and see if it doesn't make you cry too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryCTIigaloQ

What a lesson in selfless living! This guy only sought to be a blessing to his son.

-Brian

2006-08-28T12:49:00.000-04:00

SURVIVOR PLAYS THE RACE CARD

On the cover of this week's Entertainment Weekly Magazine a headline reads: "Survivor Shocker" and asks "has reality TV finally gone too far?"

The newest edition of America's #1 reality show will initially break the 16 survivors up into four race-based tribes. Then, you'll get to see how the Asian tribe differs from the Hispanic tribe; and what differences the black tribe has from the whites.

So what's all the controversy about? Is it that the producers are segregating this microcosm of society? Have you seen the neighborhoods in our home town? Generally, blacks settle with blacks, whites with whites, and so on. We like to live where we're comfortable - with people like us. Don't blame Survivor.

My morning show co-host Mandy (married to great guy who happens to be black) and I spoke about this on the JQ 99 morning show. We both agreed that this little social experiment has the potential to be a great lesson!

Sure, there's the possibility that early on the races will harbor contempt and that survivors will express prejudicial sentiments to the show's audience. But I don't expect it will last long.

During one of the early seasons of CBS's Big Brother show, Ken, a chain-smoking, politically conservative white guy, lashed out at Bunky, another houseguest whose open homosexuality and psuedo-feminine behaviour conflicted with Ken's social conditioning. While Ken's rants about how disgusting and unnatural homosexuality is was offensive to Bunky and gay viewers, they didn't last long. Gradually, Ken and Bunky became best of friends. In fact, Ken wasn't shy about giving Bunky a hug every now and then. The social stereo-types and prejudices were set aside as they grew to know eachother.

I expect the same thing will happen on Survivor: Cook Islands. In fact, I'll say that I hope survivors from each ethnicity honestly express whatever racial objections or prejudice views they have. Then, as survivors are voted out and tribes become multi-racial, all of America will witness the softening of the survivors' hearts.

Rarely is there an exception. We may begin with prejudice, but if we allow ourselves to get close to people that aren't like us, our prejudice gives way to understanding.

It's then we realize we're not that different after all.

2006-08-27T20:03:00.000-04:00

Will You Just Shut That Thing Off Son!?

I don't know where he got it, but my son Brody has this battery powered fire truck with a siren that decides on its own when to start squeeling, and won't quit. It's a real cheapie - there is no on/off switch and no battery to remove. It just keeps crying the way sirens do - rrrrrrrr, rrrrrrrr!

The other night Tracie and I were trying to sleep and that evil fire truck just kept making that siren noise. I don't know what made it start up, but we weren't going to catch any Z's until that noise stopped! I wanted to smash it with my softball bat, but then Tracie would have had to explain the firetruck pieces Brody would have undoubtedly discovered in the trash. So, she deduced that we should stick it out in the garage - and that did the trick. We were able to rest peacefully!

Your kids may have a toy or musical instrument that drives you crazy. Often, kids will continue to make noise with that toy or instrument until you're on the verge of lunacy! It's terribly annoying, isn't it?

I Corinthians 13, known as the Love chapter, says that people who live the Christian life but don't have true love for their brothers are like those annoying toys that won't shut up. Okay, not exactly; but it does say it's like a resounding cymbal.

When I was in high school, I had a set of drums in my room and spent many a night bashing the crap out of them while my parents seemed to find anything to do that would get them out of the house - lawn work, grocery shopping, church bowling leagues, anything! The sound of that resounding, pointless clanging was enough to drive them batty! And that's how we sound to the people we encounter when we don't have genuine love for them.

No wonder so many people are tell Christians: "will you please just shut up!"

For years now, I've worked hard to serve God the best way I know how - but by what motive? At times it's been so God would bless me. Other times I've done good works grudgingly or out of sheer duty. Much of that work hasn't gone over very well. People are smart enough to sense when you truly care for them and when you're just clanging your own cymbals.

That challenges me!

2006-08-14T13:54:00.000-04:00

THANKS, I NEEDED THAT! Someone told me recently that you really know God's using you when you don't know he's using you. No, it wasn't Yogi Bera. What he meant to say was that God often works in ways you didn't set out to work on your own. Meet the Winchell family. That's them pictured above backstage at the Unity Music Festival with Steven Curtis Chapman. The Winchells were the grand prize winners in JQ 99's Unity Music Matchgame. What's amazing about this family winning the grand prize is that they had resigned themselves to the fact that they couldn't afford to go this year. Tim is losing his job and times are fixin' to get really tough! No other Unity Music Matchgame prize would have been much help. Because of the family's financial woes, they needed this particular prize - 3 day festival passes, plus $150 in spending money for food, gas, and merchandise. It's amazing how God works these things out! But the Winchells aren't alone. I can't tell you how many times God has given the grand prize to families who need just that! For two years running, the $1,000 prize for finding the Jingle Bell Rock has been claimed by financially strapped families with no money for gifts. Last year's winner of a JQ 99 backyard make-over had no lawn - just dirt...not even top soil! God provided grass and landscaping. The stories go on and on! It feels so good knowing that God is using JQ and our family of advertisers to bless people...and I'm humbled that he's including me!

2006-08-10T13:46:00.000-04:00

DOES THIS LOOK LIKE

A TOWEL TO YOU?

. This much is true: there are never enough towels around.

. You're over at a friend's house watching the game when your thoughtful pal returns from the kitchen and hands you a sweatty can of Coke. You greatfully crack open America's #1 beverage, take a swig and set it down on the coffee table when it happens...you wipe your wet hands on your pants.

My wife hates it when I do this because it often leaves stains that don't dissappear when dry. Being concious of this, and being 100 percent truly madly deeply in love with her, I'm no longer a "pants hand-dryer."

. I use my socks.

. Socks are great portable use-it-anywhere towels because they're naturally thick and fluffy as well as absorbant. If you wear long tube type socks, you're golden! The beauty of wiping your hands on your socks is, assuming you have long pants on, that even if you're wiping a stain-causing substance off your hands nobody will ever know.

. So whenever you're caught wet-handed somewhere and there's not a towel in sight, lift your pant leg and covertly wipe your hands clean.

. Maybe this is why some average guys never sway from wearing socks with their sandals!

2006-08-08T06:55:00.000-04:00

THE ELEMENTARY TRUTH ABOUT HEAL+H IN$URANCE

So much for having a teachable spirit. After working the2005 school year without a contract, Holland Public School teachers have agreed to one with the school board. I'm not intimately familiar with the details, but news reports indicated the sticking point has been health insurance. School board officials have repeatedly stated rising costs mean teachers will have to get used to the idea of a paying a portion of their health insurance premiums. They agreed to pay $40 per month toward their health insurance premiums for the first year; then it goes up to $60 per month. Meanwhile, the school system is left to pay the remaining $1100 per month. Recently, my bosses held a meeting indicating that skyrocketing health costs are forcing them to reorganize the company health insurance plan. Many other employers are facing the same situation. They were able to minimize cost hikes by thinking creatively. Still, I pay more than $150 PER PAY CHECK toward health insurance premiums. What I wouldn't give to pay only $20 per paycheck! My heros are Christian and private school teachers who sacrifice income and yet often still pay the same health care insurance premiums as the rest of corporate America. THOSE are the people who know they're called to a great work, worthy of sacrifice. I have a hard time empathizing with better paid teachers with nearly no health insurance costs.

2006-08-04T12:51:00.000-04:00

THEY DON'T CALL IT BREAK NECK SPEED FOR NOTHING Thursday on the JQ 99 Morning Show, Mandy and I talked to Phil Joel, bass player for the Christian rock band NEWSBOYS. For years, the band has traveled with their motorcycles. I remember seeing them on a Festival Con Dios tour with five BMW street bikes parked backstage. Phil says these days, the band is riding enduro style bikes, a high performance off-road/street legal hybrid style. Mandy asked what the band wives thought of the motorcycles. Phil gave a hesitant chuckle and revealed that the girls weren't very comfortable with their childrens' father spend his time free-wheeling with the boys in the band. I'm not sure anyone has an academic explaination for why guys love motorcyles. We just do! As a kid, I jealously watched neighborhood friends speed by my house on their way to rip up the trails nearby. Every week or so, to no avail, my brother and I petitioned our parents to get a mini-bike. My cousins, who lived on farms in North Dakota, recklessly rode three-wheelers year 'round. My brother and I would spend all of our vacation money filling their gas tanks and running them to the limit. Those were the days! Then, my brother finally sold his horse and bought a Yamaha racing quad-runner. My mom didn't aprove, but had little leverage to stop a grown college student. We promptly started pushing that baby to the edge of its performance capability....raging down dirt roads at sixty miles per hour...jumping sandy ramps dangerously close to trees...racing down narrow trails lined with pines during hunting season. Behaving so recklessly might not have been smart, but it was thrilling. Now, whenever I drive by a dirt or enduro bike propped up in someone's yard with a for sale sign taped to the number plate, I covet. I long to spend a Saturday afternoon drenched in adrenalized abandon - storming down a country trail. Who knows if that dream will ever come true? In the mean time, I'll keep the faith and keep praying for my wife.

2006-08-03T12:26:00.000-04:00

EXCHANGING YOUR

MIRROR

FOR A

WINDOW

If you're like me, you spend waaay too much time in front of the mirror. True confession: I'm constantly looking at the mirror to make sure my nose and unibrow hairs are gone, or at least inconspicuous. The first thing I do in the morning is tweeze my unibrow and nose - - everyday. It's like a disease!! Recently, I've been made aware of the fact that I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror. People like me, who seize every opportunity to check themselves out tend to be very self-centered. We're impressed by looks and outward evidences of beauty and sometimes have a hard time making authentic connections with people. We're obsessed with having the right look - including the right clothes, hair, car, house, shoes, friends - everything! Sometimes I look up from the mirror long enough to realize how miserable mirrors make people. All the mirror does for me is show me my flaws. I'm never good enough. There's always something out of place! I wonder if God really inteded us to be people who obsess about ourselves. How much better it feels to look through windows. People who gravitate toward windows aren't so concerned with themselves. They want to get involved with the world outside their own. They engage people. They look for ways to get involved. They see people with needs greater than their own and work to meet those needs. Window watchers have discovered that a great big colorful world of adventure awaits them, and they are drawn out from their places of security to experience the thrilling joys of being with people. God take me away from the mirror. It's a depressing place. I want to open the dreary curtains I've hung and let the light of your good-will shine in. I want to see that the world is more than me and what's mine - and that a breath of fresh air is only a few steps away!

2006-08-02T13:25:00.000-04:00

I'M A MALE AIRHEAD! There, I said it! Since just about every guy has an intense desire to be respected, it's a terrible thing for him to have to admit he's blonde. Now, I'm not talking about mere hair color - no. I mean the butt of blonde jokes blonde. An airhead. Ditzy. If you ever have blonde moments, you know how shameful it is to admit it. Does it mean you're stupid? Are you less worthy of respect? Probably not, you just miss a few things every now and then. Unfortunately, it always seems to strike at the most inopportune times...and when you're near the people you want to impress most. For example... Sunday afternoon, Tracie and I went to the Michigan International Speedway to watch the Indy Racing League race. A racing friend of mine was hosting clients at his businesses suite that overlooked pit road (really incredible seats!). Prior to the start of the race, as I decended the stairway from the roof, people walked by. Once inside the suite, my friend asked if that was IRL star driver Dario Franchitti who just passed by me on the stairs. I said I didn't know - wasn't looking. (DOH!) Last night, before I faded off to sleep, I put on my blindfold and inserted my earplugs. After getting settled, I started telling my wife about the day. Little did I know that about 30 seconds into my narrative, she got out of bed and went to check on my son. Sometime after she was gone, I stretched out my arm to place it on her belly. It was then that I realized I'd been talking to her pillow for two minutes. DUH! What a dork! Being a male airhead hurts. People mislead you and you follow them. You're constantly asking "are you serious?" to which people say "no, dummy!" You miss obvious happenings - things right under your nose. You figure things out long after most people (I just figured out how my foam earplugs work. For years, I went to be frustrated that they didn't fit my ear. I'd pinch them and stick them in...then push them deeper. They never worked. Then I discovered that if I just pinch once, stick the earplugs in, and leave them alone, they expand to fill my ear canals. Again...duh!) I guess I'll just have to accept my ditziness. Help me if you can relate!

2006-07-27T12:47:00.000-04:00

IS THIS GUY MAN ENOUGH TO WEAR PINK?

This week Kohl's Department Stores is gearing up for the influx of fall clothing by filling racks with leftover summer clothes all marked 80% off.

After parusing the racks, I had an armful of possibilities...including this pink shirt (pictured above).

My wife was against the idea from the beginning, and I half expected that. But my daughter's reaction really threw me for a loop. "No way dad," she gasped. "I can't look."

Is it THAT bad? Why can all the cool shaggy-haired high school bucks wear pink every day of the week and my wife and daughter wouldn't be seen dead with me in a shirt like this? What gives?

My conclusion is that, for guys, wearing pink is a statement of masculinity. The more manly his appearance, the safer it is for him to don the most girly color there is. It's kind of like Superman wearing a shirt made of kryptonite.

Being 5'8" tall and just under 150 lbs, I'm not tall enough (at least 5'10") or thick enough to chance it.

Oh, well. Racy reds and bold blues will have to do!